Audrey and Katherine

I had the privilege of photographing this sweet mom and her precious baby girl last week.

 I met Audrey through mentoring in the A Way Out organization here in Memphis.  Audrey came to AWO from jail.  She was pregnant and desperately looking for a way to change her life. She had tried to change before but always held on the the past and ended up back on the streets.

 Audrey's life on the street started early, being introduced to crack and prostitution, by a family member, as a young teenager.  As she would tell you, her time on the streets was not glamorous or fun; it was hard and empty.  She was beaten and raped and consumed by the drug that was destroying her life.  Audrey had spent almost 20 years on the street before coming to AWO.

God has used A Way Out to change Audrey's life.  It is amazing to see the ways Jesus is moving in Audrey.  She gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl less than a month after she entered AWO.  She has been an amazing mother since day one and strives to learn more about raising Katherine in a way that honors God.  She shows that baby girl the love of Jesus every day.  Audrey would tell you that God has used Katherine to save her life, but what I hope Audrey sees is that God is using her to give an amazing example of His grace to Katherine.  Audrey has completed the intensive recovery program offered by AWO and is currently working on getting her GED.  She has been clean around 8 months and inspires the new girls, that come in, to stick with the program.  God is working miracles in Audrey and her story is a testimony to God's love, grace and faithfulness to finish what He has started.  I am so proud of Audrey and smitten by Katherine.  It is an honor to know her and to be a part of her life.

Thank you, Audrey and Katherine, for letting me capture a little piece of your life.  I love you guys!

God Provides

Here are a few pictures from my latest photo shoot.

God is providing throughout this adoption process in amazing ways.  He has provided families, like the Swetts (above), that allow me to capture moments of their family while providing money to grow mine.  God sold our truck in less than a week, which provides half the money for our adoption.

The finances are a huge part of all of this, but the most amazing way that I have seen God provide for our family has been in the peace He has given us as we walk through each step.  Adoption is a wonderful, but very hard process.  It is hard to have so many people taking part in such a personal part of your life.  It is hard waiting on reference letters, fingerprints to return, money to come in, home study being complete.  It is hard not to have any control over these things being done.  I have learned...God is teaching me that He is in control, not our case worker, not the people processing our background checks and not our friends who we have had to count on the provide references.
                                                              GOD IS IN CONTROL!
We will have a baby when the baby that God has for us, that God knows is our baby is ready.  Paperwork, timelines...all that mess doesn't matter!
                                                              GOD IS IN CONTROL!
All of this process is just the stuff that we humans do while God is really taking care of everything.  That is what lets me sleep at night.  That is what makes it ok that I don't know when my baby will be born or if he or she is already born.  That is what makes it ok that I don't know the sex, race or health of my baby.  God does and He is taking care of everything.

                                                              GOD IS IN CONTROL!

Thank you Doug and Holly for being a part of the process!

If you are interested in a session email me at janalynn82@gmail.com  Feel free to pass along the info!

Community

This is a picture taken by a friend.  This is a picture of love, support, sacrifice and community.

Our church family had a yard sale to raise money for families in our church that are adopting.  Yesterday was an amazing day for us.  We looked around and saw people that love us, people that love Memphis, people that love Jesus.  

Adoption is an amazing journey.  We are only in the beginning steps and our faith is being stretched every day.  It is hard a journey!  It is a scary journey!  It is a wonderful journey!  

Community is a crucial part of surviving.  We are made to live in community.  This life is modeled for us in the Trinity.  Community is a beautiful thing when it is fueled by a love for Jesus.  A community fueled by a love for Jesus throws a yard sale for families that are adopting.  The families that spearheaded this yard sale are not currently adopting, but they love Jesus, this city, and the families that are adopting.  

I want to publicly thank all of the families that sacrificed time, energy and stuff to make yesterday such a success.  Thank you for the very bottom of my heart!  My child that is out there, the one we don't know yet, the one that so many of you are praying for thanks you!  I can't wait to introduce this child to the wonderful community in which God has placed us.  We are grateful to be raising our children with people that love Jesus!

Thank you V&E Parish!  You are amazing!  This is what community looks like.

Let the Journey Begin

So...

Adam, Carter, Norah Lynn and I are adopting!

The ways in which God has changed us, shown us His love and grace and moved us since we have been married is amazing.  When I look back at the beginning of our marriage and then look at now, I am thankful to say that God has worked in our lives most wonderfully.

This work in our lives has brought us here, to this very moment, to this very decision.  We are adopting.  We are adopting domestically.  We are more than excited to be doing so.

Adam and I have always know we wanted children.  Even from before we were married we knew we wanted several children.  We knew we wanted to raise them up to love and follow God.  We knew we wanted our house to be one that was full of love and encouragement and fun!

What we didn't know or even suspect was how God would bring us to have these children.  He has given us two amazing biological children.  We are so blessed to have them and so thankful for their little lives.  When we started praying and talking about having another child, the answer became very clear to both of us that our plan, our journey included adoption.

We know that there is a little child either already out there or on his or her way that is ours, part of our family.  We not only know, but are overjoyed with the thought and knowledge that God is already preparing this child to be a part of our family just as He has with our other two children.

We are ready, little one, to welcome you home!

A Way Out

This is my daughter. 

 I pray for her everyday.  I pray that she would come to know Jesus.  I pray that she would love Him with all her heart.  I pray that she has a long happy life and that she avoids all the mistakes that her mommy made.  Most recently, I pray that God would protect her from this wicked, cruel, fallen world in which we live.

My reason

I have recently started volunteering at an organization, here in Memphis, that provides rehabilitation for women in the sex-for-sale industry.  This includes everything from dancing to street prostitution to human trafficking.  I have just begun this journey and it has opened my eyes in a whole new way to the need this world has for a hero, for Jesus.  

Some Facts

Human trafficking is here in Memphis.  Not only is it here in Memphis, we are actually on a path that a lot of traffickers take that includes St. Louis, New Orleans, Dallas, Atlanta, Miami and MEMPHIS.

Some of the hot spots in our area, according to police, are:  Lamar, Memphis Airport, Sam Cooper at Tillman, North Memphis due to the amount of illegal immigrants, the Downtown bus station, and the one that surprised me the most Wolfchase Galleria.

The average age of girls that Memphis police see are between the ages of 14-16.

My Thoughts

This is in our backyard.  It was much easier for me when I had my head in the sand.  Now these women stay with me constantly.  My heart aches for them and my prayers are filled with their names.  I have learned that most prostitution starts with trafficking.  Most of the women we see on the streets now started as 12-14 year old little girls.  Most of them were sexually abused at home and some even put out on the streets by their own family.  A lot of them had to run away from home because the abuse was so bad.  Once they were on the streets they were being beaten and raped every night.  When approached my a man, a pimp, who offered a place to stay, food to eat, and protection from the brutal attacks, what choice does a 12-14 year old girl have?  By the time these girls are old enough to look for a way out, there is not enough of them left to know that they are worth saving.  

Knowing these women has taught me so much.  I have learned that they are just like me.  They have dreams, hopes, children.  They want to be a good mother and provide a stable home.  They just don't know how.  They want to believe that they are loved and valued, but it is hard when the whole world that they have ever known has shown them otherwise.  

I have learned that women coming out of the sex-for-sale industry honestly do not know or believe that God cares about them.  My first bible study with the women at A Way Out, I saw a girl hear and believe for the first time that God made her wonderful and loves her.  Her eyes filled with tears and she could hardly speak.  I cried the whole way home that night.  I was overwhelmed with emotions of sadness for where these girls have been but also with so much hope and joy for the hero they have found.

My Hope

 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.  I Corinthians 10:13

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God: to comfort all who mourn: to grant to those who mourn in Zion - to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.  They shall build up the ancient ruins: they shall raise up the former devastations: they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastaions of many generations.  Isaiah 61:1-4

Jesus is not only our hope, he is our HERO!  He came to save this wicked, cruel, fallen world.  So, when I get freaked out and wish I could put my head back in the sand, I remember that yes this is a fallen world but we have a hero and a rescuer.  I can rest in that.

   

What Do They See?

What kind of Jesus do people see when they look at you?

We have lived in Memphis for over a year now, and it has been life changing/heart changing for me!

A few years ago I would have jumped on the bandwagon and been all about showing up for a Chick-fil-a appreciation day.  Now, all I can think about is what kind of message is the religious community sending to the LGBT community?

When we claim that we are Jesus followers, we are stepping into the role of representing Jesus to all we know and see.  Are we showing them the Jesus of John 8, that forgives and shows kindness and love to the woman committing adultery? Are we showing people the Jesus of Matthew 4 that call His disciples, which were not the religious men of the day by far?  Are we showing Luke 23, that shows forgiveness and grace to the thief on the cross?

It breaks my heart to think what it must have felt like for anybody in the LGBT community to drive by and see the line at Chick-fil-a today.  It breaks my heart because to them, I am sure, it was not a line supporting freedom of speech.  It was a line that represented hatred towards them.  I am sure this is not true of all the people that supported Chick-fil-a today, but ask yourself, "Were you really there to support Cathy's freedom of speech, or were you there to show how much to disagree with homosexuality?"  If your answer is the latter, then look to the Bible and ask yourself who you look more like, Jesus or the Pharisees?

As, Jesus followers, we need to love people the way He did and does.  He never accepted sin but He also never showed such hatred toward people.

Pride Comes Before the Fall

It has been a while.  Here are my kiddos.  They are growing so fast. Carter is 3 and Norah Lynn is almost 10 months old.

To say that two children knocked me for a loop would be an understatement.

I have never really thought of myself as a prideful person.  I mean, I was very proud of the amazing little boy that Carter was turning out to be.  I felt great about life and about being able to manage life.  What I didn't realize was that I had become very self-reliant and PRIDEFUL.  Well, as the title says, "Pride comes before the fall.."  It was a big fall and it hurt.  Lots of bruises on my big ego and scrapes on the facade I had built that shouted, "I am the perfect mom!"

You see, when we had Carter it was a pretty easy adjustment.  I mean we didn't really have to change life all that much.  We just took Carter along with us in our life.  So, I assumed that the second child would just be the same way.  We would just add her to the pack and take her along with us.

WELL, it did not quite happen like that.  Don't get me wrong Norah Lynn was an amazing newborn.  She has been content and happy.  She sleeps from 7pm all the way until 8:30 or 9am and has for a while now.  I am serious.  She is great  But there were now two of them and one of me. It didn't add up as I thought it would.

I realized that my attitude had been one of supermom.  I thought because I had it all together with one child that meant I wrote the book on motherhood. HA!!  I have found out that it is nothing of me that makes these children content, happy, obedient or sweet.  God created these wonderful kids and by His grace He allows me to love and hold and walk them trough life.  The big key to it all is that it is not about me being supermom. It is about me realizing that I am nothing and that being a mom is an impossible responsibility without Christ.  All the good that comes out of me is of Him.

I have found this out the hard way.  There has been a lot coming out, this past year, that is not Christ and it has not been pretty!!  I have found out that my sin nature, the part of me that comes out when I try to be in control, is U-G-L-Y!!

A good friend of mine told me that the key is to be prayed up all day everyday and to be consistent.  So, that is what I do.  I pray for patience. I pray for mercy and grace.  I pray for the words to say.  I pray for energy.  I pray for a moment to rest.  I pray that the love of Christ would pour out of me and flood Carter and Norah Lynn so that they might see Jesus in me and be attracted to that.  I want them to know that their Mommy loves Jesus and I want that to make them want to know and love Jesus too.  I don't want to tell them I love Jesus and then what comes out of me is sharp tones, ugly looks and a quick temper.  That is not the image of Jesus I want to portray. 

So, to all you moms out there I want to say I am sorry for looking at you and judging.  I am sorry for not giving you the grace I now hope people give me.  I commend you for raising your children as God has called you to do.  I want you to know that the sweatshirt, ponytail, no make up, how long has it been since I have had a shower look suits you well.  It is a look of love and sacrifice, a look of a obedience to your Father.  You are amazing!!