A Mother's View

These are my beautiful children. These are the little lives that I would do anything for and pray for everyday. These little faces capture my heart and make it sing.

Today is Good Friday. Today is the day that Jesus died. Not just any death, but a undeserved death, my death. Today is the day that Mary watched as the face that captured her heart was beaten and bruised. She watched as the life that she would do anything for and prayed for was mocked, tortured and killed. Mary, Jesus's mother, stood by helplessly as the little one she held and rocked, now a man, was whipped and crucified. She watched, all the while, knowing it was for her he was hanging on that cross.

As I think about today, I can't help but think about what it must have been like, for Mary, to watch her son suffer so much. I can't even begin to imagine seeing my children in so much pain.

I also think about the reason Jesus was hanging on the cross, the reason he had to die. In obedience to His Father, it was because of me He was hanging on that cross. That death was mine, what I deserve for the sin in my life.

I may not seem like a bad person. By most people's standards I would be considered a good person.

I want to tell you that I am not a good person. My heart is wicked in and of itself. If left to myself I would choose sin. Only by the grace of God, only by abiding in Christ am I redeemed!! I NEED Jesus! Bottom line. Nothing else matters. I am not justified because I m a good mother, a good wife. I am not redeemed because my house is clean or because I am nice to my neighbors. I am not good because I go to church or even because I serve in church. None of these things matter and none of them count.

The only thing that matters is that God opened my eyes to my need for Him and redeemed my wicked heart for His glory. Because of Him I can rejoice and be glad. He saved me!! I can live because He died.

Today is the day that my Savior died. In a few days we rejoice that He is risen, but today I am compelled to remind myself of my need for Him, the reason He died.

John 19, Ephesians 1

Mother of Two

Things I've learned in my short time as a mother of two:

1. Love is not something I can measure or understand. God has made my heart big enough to fall in love with two beautiful children.

2. Patience does not come easy while suffering from sleep deprivation.

3. Never underestimate the amount of laughter a two year old can bring into your life, or the power that that laughter has to overcome sleep deprivation and a small case of baby blues.

4. A helpful, understanding, loving husband is priceless.

5. I am able to do much more than I thought, but only with lots of prayer and a few tears here and there.

6. The middle of the night is not my first choice, but it is a great time to enjoy the wonderful treasure that is a new baby. We are the only two awake and she is all mine with no interruptions.

7. It is not easier the second time around to listen to your baby cry.

8. Your first child goes from being a baby to a big boy the minute that baby comes out. I mean he talks in complete sentences now. He helps me with Norah Lynn. He has aged years over night!!

9. A well rested mommy is a better mommy.

10. Family is a blessing. It has been wonderful to have family around this time!!

Control

Well, I can't take all of the credit for these pictures. I set the settings on the camera and picked the locations and poses, but Adam actually took the pictures. I think he did a great job.

God has blessed our family so much and here is just one of the evidences. Having children is nothing short of a blessing from God. Tomorrow our little girl, Norah Lynn, will be here. Carter will be a big brother and Adam and I will be parents of not one but two children. Praise God!!

My thought for the day is, of course, about birth. God has used each pregnancy to teach and remind me about His control. He is in control of the process from the beginning..the "trying" stage. We can count days and take temperatures if we want to but God is the only one that can create life. He just allows us the privileged to carry and care for the life He creates.

I have said it before and will say it again now...I don't see how anyone can have children and not believe in God.

Pregnancy in itself is a miracle. I mean there are only a limited number of days each month that a woman can get pregnant and even then everything has to work our perfectly. That only shows that God has to orchestrate each new life.

Pregnancy itself is also a reminder that God is completely in control. I have been pregnant 3 times. I have done nothing different each time and each pregnancy has been completely different. We lost the baby with the first pregnancy. This was hard, but I know God was in control of event that. The second pregnancy, God gave us Carter. Our third pregnancy will give us Norah Lynn tomorrow. Throughout the 2nd pregnancy I worried and read all I could. I finally realized that I was just the oven. God was knitting together this little boy inside me. He was doing all the work. He was just allowing me to be a part of it.

Delivery is another miracle and another way that God has demonstrated to me His control. With Carter we had to induce and after 16 hours of labor ended up in a c-section. This was not my plan at all. As a matter of fact I was very upset. I did not want to induce and I did not want to have a c-section. Our last ultrasound showed some possible complications, therefore we induced a week early. Carter was not even thinking about coming into this world, therefore we ended up in a c-section.

So this time around I had a plan (you think I would learn). I was going to go into labor all on my own and NOT have a c-section. I was going to try natural methods of induction and make sure that things worked out the way I wanted. Just so you know how my plan worked out... We are scheduled for a c-section at 2pm tomorrow. I will be 4 days past my due date and regardless of all my efforts and at-home methods, I am no closer to giving birth on my own than I was with Carter. I am NOT in control!

So my words of wisdom. Don't be as hard headed as I am. God is in control of all things and there is no better place to be than in the middle of His control.

A friend gave me this verse today. Isaiah 26:3 "...You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You."

There is peace in God alone!!

New York

A few weeks ago I, with one of my very best friends, Amy, had the opportunity to go to New York to see another one of my very best friends, Lauren. This trip was a great reminder of what value friendship holds. These are friends that are more like family.

As I looked around in the city, I couldn't help but be reminded of our need for Jesus. One thing the people in New York are is self-sufficient. They have it all together, from the look of things. They are well dressed, have perfect jobs, modern apartments, and a nanny to take care of their kids. As I looked at some of these women, I noticed the emptiness in their eyes. We saw women walking with their children, on their day off, with, not a look of gratitude for time to spend with their children, but with a look of frustration at the inconvenience. The kids were being dragged behind their mom while their mom talked on the phone and shopped.

This got me to thinking about how thankful I am for being raised in a home that values family. I also respect my friend for living in a culture that values business and fashion above all else and still exemplifying what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

So my thought for the post is...Check out Proverbs 31. Be empowered by it and live it out!

Little Boy

Here are the latest pictures. You get three for the price of one considering that I am seriously slacking when it comes to posting.

So, the topic of this post is little boys. Let them be boys!! There is a difference between misbehaving and being adventurous. Little boys are born with curiosity and adventure inside them. Carter is a very well-behaved, rowdy, gross, adventurous, dirty, fun-loving, smart, curious, loud, and brave little boy. I love every minute of it! He pushes the limits constantly of what makes me comfortable, but then I realize that he can do more than I realize. He is constantly proving to me that he is more capable and more independent than I know. God made little boys to be different from little girls, so why do we train our boys up to be feminine men?

This goes back to another post I have written about the man stepping up and being the man. I think we have discouraged men being men in our society. We discourage curiosity and adventure. Instead of teaching them to use the nature God has given them to glorify Him, we teach little boys that by being curious they are being "bad". Instead why don't we guide that curiosity towards God. Direct them to learn all they can about God and His creation and use every curious moment, every adventure or too loud moment in the store as a learning opportunity. Let's raise our boys up to be MEN that glorify and honor God. Raise them up to use the "wild" nature within to explore who God is and what God desires for them!

I love having a little boy and love the fact he sees the wonder around in God's world and wants to explore all of it. This doesn't come without a fear on my part and exhaustion at times. The boy can run me ragged!! Enjoy your little boy because one day he will grow up to be a man and you, mommy and daddy, have a huge part in what kind of man that will be!

Disclaimer: This is not an excuse to let your little boy run wild with no discipline. Like I said before, there is a difference in misbehaving and curiosity/an adventurous spirit. Little boys should still obey and show respect. There is an appropriate time to run wild and a time to practice self-control.

Family

This is my sister, Allie. She is an amazing person. She is strong and sweet all at the same time. She is a tomboy and beautiful all at the same time. Allie has so much to offer this world and if you are lucky enough to know her learn to appreciate who she really is! I love you Lallie.

This picture reminded me of the important place family holds in my life. My family, well, they are my best friends. I look to my parents and realize that they have been married for 29 years and seem to love each other more each day. They don't just love each other in the "I have know you forever and we have kids together" kind of way. They love each other with a new and old love all at the same time. I pray that at 29 years of marriage mine and Adam's love will look like theirs.

Then I think about my brother and sisters. As we get older and the age difference lessens in importance, we have become more than just siblings, but friends. We talk to each other. We have fun together and we can be real with each other.

Family is something, I feel, especially my generation, takes for granted. God blesses us with a family to love and support. Sometime they are easy to love and sometimes maybe they are the mission field that God is calling us to minister to. Either way, be thankful for the family you have and realize that God has a role for you in that family. You just have to be willing to accept it and be obedient.

I have also learned that God gives us new family members as life goes on. These members do not come from blood but from time and living life together. So, I am also very grateful for the family members God has blessed me with through life experiences.

Creation

It has been a while since my last post. I have good excuses! Adam, Carter and I are moving to Memphis to help with a church plant. Also, we are having another baby. Due to these two things I have been crazy busy and sick... mostly sick.

We went to the lake recently with Adam's family. As I looked across the lake, at the end of the day, and the way the light hit the water, I couldn't resist the photo opportunity. The thought to go along with the picture is a simple one. Even if I didn't have a bible or go to church, I think I would have to know God because I can see Him in His creation. This thought brought me to Romans 1:20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. All that to say that we have no excuse for not believing. Look around you. God is in all that you see in nature.